Archive for September, 2010

Signs of endings

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

We have visited one parish which was clearly the wrong place. We have been visited by representatives of the search team from one parish that could be the right place. I have visited one parish that could definitely be the right place. Next week we will visit the parish that has already visited us. If anyone is going to offer me a job, they will likely do so in late October. I would guess that we’ll move, if we’re moving, sometime around the end of the calendar year or the beginning of the next year.

I keep my to-do list in kind of an idiosyncratic way – it’s an always-open file where I just maintain a running list. Near-horizon tasks are scheduled for particular days; tasks for future weeks are dropped at the bottom to be scheduled as their time approaches. Some-indefinite-but-not-too-distant tasks go down there too, as well as a short list of highly speculative “someday if I have time” tasks.

I just rolled into work this morning, exhausted and half-sick after getting in late last night from the latest parish visit. I started looking at my to-do lists, to figure out how much I actually have to try to accomplish this week. And I discovered that there’s nothing on my list, beyond next week. A modestly full schedule this week – a short list of stuff I’ve dropped into next week – and then at the bottom of the page, I hit the “someday if I have time” list.

This never happens. It only happened when I was going out on maternity leave because I put months of frantic effort into reaching that point. I am astonished that it has happened all by itself.

Of course tasks will come along. I can already think of a few. But that blank space at the bottom of my to-do list seems like another sign saying, Your work here is finished. Time to take a deep breath and step into something new.


Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

So as of this morning, I have two parishes that want me to come visit, and one parish that wants to send several of the people on the search team (the group charged with evaluating candidates to be their new priest) to come visit me and watch me do my thing at St. Cosmus’. Visits in either direction are both ways of getting more serious about considering me for a job.

It’s possible, of course, that none of them will offer me a job. I can imagine a dynamic where I look really attractive on paper, and seem interesting and fun in person, but where ultimately they worry about my experience level and offer the job to another candidate. That would be OK; I’m not in a hurry yet. This is all moving a bit fast for me, really. We shall see….

I swing back and forth between being totally preoccupied by all this (spending hours poring over real estate listings in various towns, trying to imagine life there – Tilt sometimes joins me or incites me in this), and not thinking about it at all – throwing myself, instead, into wholeheartedly planning our big crafting evening in late October… And I swing back and forth, likewise, between being excited and curious about what this next step will bring, and feeling keenly ¬†how much I love our life here and the people we know and the place we live, and how much there will be to miss…