Archive for February, 2012

When I am old, I shall wear midnight.

Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

I recently marked the anniversary of three years of priestly ministry. Thanks to a colleague preaching this Sunday, I’m taking my usual Tuesday-morning sermonating time to reflect a little on ordained ministry. I carefully brought all my journals with me, the lovingly-handmade-by-Tilt notebooks that I filled with doubt, joy, perplexity and hope while going through the discernment process and, more intermittently, in the years since. Then I left them somewhere – at home on the cabinet in the dining room, I think. Ah, well – I can muse without props.

Here is one musing: noticing what I’m wearing today. I’ve been working hard on my wardrobe, the last few months. I started exercising with some regularity – nothing dramatic, and I’m not looking for dramatic change, but it’s changed my sense of myself. I have some confidence that I’ll stay the size I am or possibly a little smaller, so I’ve gotten rid of a lot of things that were really a little bit too big and thus looked baggy and dumpy on me, and I’m gradually replacing them with things that fit well and look, I think, pretty good. I’ve also gotten more and more confident about being able to shape my own style. I remember vividly a session in the changing room of a consignment clothing store in the town where I attended a preaching conference, in the months between graduating from seminary and beginning my first job. They had several suits in approximately my size, and I was utterly convinced that I Needed Suits. I ended up buying two suits that day – both fit me tolerably well, & though expensive, they were cheaper than new. I even paid to have them altered – the sleeves were too long. (more…)